On Acceptance
Remember Supernanny Jo Frost and her catchphrase, "that's unacceptable"?
"Unacceptable behaviour" was one of the countless things I learnt about during the decade I lived in the UK back in the noughties.
When it comes to adults, the matter of accountability for one's behaviour became a fundamental piece of understanding, as if my entire life up until then had transpired in an incongruent, incomplete jigsaw puzzle without any awareness of it, and I'd suddenly found sufficient pieces to make much more sense of the whole. There was such joy, such happiness in this understanding, such relief, in fact, because here, in Latin America in general and in Mexico in particular, those pieces are simply missing. There's no rule of law here. In these parts of the world, we still rely heavily on religion for the teaching and learning of moral and ethical conduct, and the government's function is... well... far removed from the question of justice.
A consequence of this is that, essentially, people act and justify their behaviour according to their "own truth" and consider that there are "many truths". So, unfortunately, unacceptable behaviour is the order of the day, as well as blindness to it. The same blindness and confusion I suffered from myself until I learnt differently. In the words of Maya Angelou, "when you know better, you do better."
Moving to the UK and seeing clearly what acceptable and unacceptable behaviour is, and living within a society that holds accountability in high esteem is a blessing I am truly grateful for. Because - and here's my own catchphrase - clarity is key.
Ultimately though, the practice of Mindfulness helps me see that, whether we are held accountable or not, we *are* accountable for our actions, and whereas there's little I can do about past mistakes, I now know this, from the 5 remembrances:
My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
To wrap up for now: Acceptance is not martyrdom. It isn't, "oh, this is the way things are around here, so I accept it and do nothing". Instead, it is freedom from anger and despair so that Right Action might be possible. It isn't about giving up. For example, please watch this short video about How to change the world.
And my question for you today is: How do you practise Acceptance in your every day life? Please post a comment below 馃槉 and if you add your email, you'll be notified of my reply. My intention is to reply to all comments.
"Unacceptable behaviour" was one of the countless things I learnt about during the decade I lived in the UK back in the noughties.
When it comes to adults, the matter of accountability for one's behaviour became a fundamental piece of understanding, as if my entire life up until then had transpired in an incongruent, incomplete jigsaw puzzle without any awareness of it, and I'd suddenly found sufficient pieces to make much more sense of the whole. There was such joy, such happiness in this understanding, such relief, in fact, because here, in Latin America in general and in Mexico in particular, those pieces are simply missing. There's no rule of law here. In these parts of the world, we still rely heavily on religion for the teaching and learning of moral and ethical conduct, and the government's function is... well... far removed from the question of justice.
A consequence of this is that, essentially, people act and justify their behaviour according to their "own truth" and consider that there are "many truths". So, unfortunately, unacceptable behaviour is the order of the day, as well as blindness to it. The same blindness and confusion I suffered from myself until I learnt differently. In the words of Maya Angelou, "when you know better, you do better."
Moving to the UK and seeing clearly what acceptable and unacceptable behaviour is, and living within a society that holds accountability in high esteem is a blessing I am truly grateful for. Because - and here's my own catchphrase - clarity is key.
Ultimately though, the practice of Mindfulness helps me see that, whether we are held accountable or not, we *are* accountable for our actions, and whereas there's little I can do about past mistakes, I now know this, from the 5 remembrances:
My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
To wrap up for now: Acceptance is not martyrdom. It isn't, "oh, this is the way things are around here, so I accept it and do nothing". Instead, it is freedom from anger and despair so that Right Action might be possible. It isn't about giving up. For example, please watch this short video about How to change the world.
And my question for you today is: How do you practise Acceptance in your every day life? Please post a comment below 馃槉 and if you add your email, you'll be notified of my reply. My intention is to reply to all comments.
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ReplyDeleteBlogger Antonio Galvez said...
ReplyDeleteI accept all that is now in my life. That is all there is. How could I not accept it. It would be silly ! The origin of my negative emotions and thoughts is in not accepting what I encounter now in my life. Be happy
Hi Antonio, thank you very much! Sounds easy enough. Personally - as you can see, haha - acceptance is a dense topic and one that I need to work on every day. Some days are easier than others. One thing I've found helpful is to accept my resistance, my bad moods, my negative thinking when I notice them and remember, but it's much more common that I should berate myself and try to think of something else, force myself to drop the thought or mood, rather than embrace it...
DeleteAnyway, thanks again for commenting, I appreciate it! :-)
*rather than (a) acknowledge and (b) embrace any negativity...
Delete